I can't understand how people with such serious food allergies go out and order at restaurants. Not saying they shouldn't, i just mean i can't imagine myself in that position and being able to "trust" it.
It depends on what your allergy is and the severity.
I have a peanut allergy that's fairly severe. There are restaurants I flat out don't go to because you're right; I can't trust it. There's lots of places that don't even have peanuts because people are so allergic, though.
In my case, most of the entrees and appetizers are safe, but dessert is usually an issue because of fruits and nuts. I tend to skip dessert for this reason. Even though they CAN modify dishes, I usually stick with stuff that doesn't have my allergen in it.
There's also a thing called oral allergy syndrome when it comes to fruits. It's because of the pollens on the fruits, not the fruit itself. Apples are a big one for many people. Cooking removed the pollen, so they can have applesauce, for instance, but not raw apples. I've noticed the same thing seems to be true of my allergies. I can't be around peanuts or peanut butter, but if someone near me is eating a dessert with peanut butter cooked in, I'm fine as long as I was not around while it was being cooked.
I'm also less sensitive to certain allergens than others. My peanut and pineapple allergies are the worst. We can't keep pineapple in the house, and if someone wants peanut butter, we use disposable stuff and it goes out to the outside trash immediately. They also make sure to make it while I'm not in the room. I live with my parents, and my dad likes Reeces Peanut butter cups. He keeps them in his office and immediately trashes the wrappers. Almonds someone can eat next to me and I'm fine. That's not true of every person with allergies, though.
I'm actually less concerned about restaurants and more concerned about eating stuff other people have cooked. I say no a lot to home cooked stuff unless it's someone used to cooking either for me or someone with allergies (especially ones similar to mine). I stay with my aunt for two weeks a year, for instance, so even though when I'm not there, she cooks stuff with my allergens, she's used to cooking for me and puts away the peanut butter and such so that there's no mix up, and she always runs stuff by me. I also know how she cleans her stuff, so I know her baked goods are safe when she's made it for me. Like, if you're making a batch of cookies and one has peanuts and the other doesn't, you have to wash the cookie sheets in between (or use foil) and use different utensils. That's where I get wary of other people's cooking.
It's very important to note that everyone is different.
